


Forever Changed

by AgentDamnvers91



Category: Coronation Street
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 10:51:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14518887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentDamnvers91/pseuds/AgentDamnvers91
Summary: WARNING: This story contains spoilers based on Aidan Connor's suicide in Coronation Street. Mentions of Suicide are in this fic so please do not read if this may cause upset or triggers.Rana desperately tries to comfort her girlfriend after her brother tragic death





	Forever Changed

Rana really wishes she had a way to make everything right now for the Connors, one Connor in particular as she lay on Kate’s bed holding her exhausted girlfriend, desperately trying to keep her in this peaceful state for as long as possible. She could feel the tears on her face as she gently ran her fingers through the other woman’s hair and pulled her impossibly closer.

She still couldn’t believe that this was happening. The Connor’s were such a close knit and strong family that the idea that one of them could be so troubled that they would take their own life was incredibly troubling. Rana knew she would never get the image out of her mind of Kate turning up at the medical centre in absolute bits. She had brief flashbacks to when she had burst tearfully into the Bistro to deliver the news of Luke’s murder but this was so much worse. Rana had smiled briefly when she saw Kate come through the door of her examination room but it was quickly replaced by a look of horror when she saw the state she was in. After rushing to her side Kate had all but collapsed into her arms. It had taken several minutes of Kate failing to get the words out before she had finally managed to blurt it out in a completely devastated cry.

Aidan had committed suicide. As soon as the words had left her mouth, Kate had started hyperventilating and Rana knew she was having some kind of trauma induced panic attack. Her face was white as snow and she was shaking as Rana gently sat her down on the floor against the wall before joining her and pulling her in to her arms. Kate had death grip on her uniform and her face was buried in Rana’s chest as she sobbed. Rana simply held her, occasionally kissing her head and telling her she loved her. Eventually Kate’s breathing returned to normal and she had stopped shaking which allowed Rana to help her up.

“I’m going to take you home okay?” Kate had simply nodded, still holding on tightly to her girlfriend.

As they exited the room Rana saw Liz and Moira waiting for them behind the counter. Kate avoided their pitiful gazes and the looks of the waiting patients.

“We just heard.” Liz said quietly as Moira noisily blew her nose and wiped her tears. If the situation wasn’t so horrific, Rana would have laughed at the display she was putting on, anyone would have thought that she and Aidan were best friends.

“Don’t worry about the rest of your patients darling. We’ll take care of it.” Rana silently mouthed thank you as she gently steered Kate towards the exit.

It was almost like Kate was on autopilot as they walked the short distance from the Medical Centre to her flat. Rana wasn’t sure if anyone was home or if Kate had her keys but she decided to try the buzzer. After a few moments the door opened and a tearful Alya appeared on the otherside.

To say their relationship had been strained as of late would be putting it mildly but no one would have believed it was true as Alya grabbed Kate and pulled her in to her arms.

“I’m so sorry.” Kate stood motionless in Alya’s arms.

“You didn’t give a shit about me yesterday. Please don’t pretend to now just because my brother’s dead.” Kate’s words were cold and harsh as she pushed herself out of Alya’s embrace and rushed up the stairs to the flat. Alya was clearly hurt by the other woman’s words but she knew from experience that it was the grief talking.

“Look after her.” She whispered quietly as she walked out the door and headed towards Roy’s.

Rana closed the door behind her and practically ran upstairs where she found Kate sitting on the sofa, a photo frame in her hands.

“How could this happen?” Rana took a seat next to her and took her hand.

“I don’t know babe. I wish I did.”

“I’m so _angry_ with him Rana. I know its not that simple but how could he do this to us.” Rana sat silently and listened to her girlfriend, gently running her other hand up and down her back. “But more than anything I’m so angry with myself.”

“This isn’t anyone’s fault Kate. Not yours, not anyone in your family. It’s a horrible horrible tragedy and I’m not even going to pretend that I know what I’m talking about but this is not your fault.”

“I didn’t see it though Rana! He was miserable for months, struggling beyond belief and I didn’t SEE it. I was awful to him for so long because of what happened with him, Eva and Maria. I practically told him to get lost when we were having a drink in the rovers the other week. He’s my brother and I was too wrapped up in myself that I didn’t see any of it. How is it not my fault?” Kate was sobbing again as she spoke and it felt as though someone was crushing Rana’s heart in a vice. She took a deep breath before answering.

“Aidan was a great man and he loved you. I can’t say I know why he did this but I do know that he would not want you blaming yourself for any of this.” Kate scoffed loudly and pulled herself up from Rana’s embrace, standing up off the sofa.

“He wouldn’t what us to blame ourselves? What else are we supposed to do, he’s dead and non of us had a clue that he was even suffering.” She was now angrily pacing. “What kind of sister am I that I couldn’t help him. He’s my brother and I betrayed him.” Rana was crying as she stood up. “He’s my brother and he’s gone. He’s gone!” Rana gently grabbed Kate’s arm but she shook her off.

“Come here.”

“No!” Rana pleaded with Kate with her eyes as she held her arms open.

“Babe, it’s okay.” Kate melted in to her girlfriends arms and once again held on for dear life.

They stayed there on that spot for what felt like hours as Kate cried into her shoulder.

“I’ve got you, I love you.” Rana whispered these words over and over again in to Kate’s ear like a mantra. Kate lifted her head up off her shoulder and stared intensely in to Rana’s eyes. She reached up and grabbed her girlfriends face, crashing their lips together and kissing her like she would never get another chance to. Rana returned the kiss passionately, her hands coming up in to Kate’s hair and pulling her closer. Her breathing quickened as Kate pulled away and turned her attention to her neck. Kate’s shaking hands reached up and started to unbutton Rana’s uniform.

“Kate.” Rana said breathlessly as she tried to control herself. As much as she wanted to make Kate feel better she knew this wasn’t what she needed right now. Kate’s hand entered her shirt and Rana gasped as her breast was palmed roughly as  she sucked on her pulse point. “Kate.” Rana repeated to no avail. She forced herself to put her hands on her girlfriends shoulders and pull her away. “Kate stop.”

Kate looked at her and Rana just wanted to wrap her up in bubble wrap and protect her forever.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered as she tried to catch her breath.

“It’s not that I don’t want to make love to you, but you need to rest.” Rana leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Why don’t you go get ready for bed and I’ll make you some tea.” Rana went to talk away towards the kitchen but Kate grabbed her and pulled her back. “What?” Rana asked gently.

Kate looked so small and broken as she stared at her girlfriend. She reached out and grabbed Rana’s hand.

“Don’t ever leave me.” Rana had to fight hard to stop herself from bursting in to tears at the look on her face. She looked so lost.

“Kate, I love you more than anything in this world, you hear me? I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” It took a second for the words to sink in but eventually Kate nodded. She leaned in and kissed Rana gently before letting go of her hand and silently walking to her bedroom.

It hadn’t taken long after the tea for Kate’s breathing to get softer and slower as she started to drift off, the days events clearly exhausting her beyond belief. Rana held her close and even though logically she knew it wasn’t possible, she didn’t want to let her girl out of her sight.

Rana’s mind drifted to her own family situation as she lay there and watched Kate sleep. Yes, losing her parents had been and still was a devastating blow to her but even though their relationship was currently non existent, she still had hope that deep down they could rebuild it. The hope that eventually her parents would come round and want to be a part of her life. Rana still had a chance, Kate would never have that chance with Aidan.

And of course Rana still had Imran. The bond that She and Imran shared was currently stronger than ever and just the thought of losing him was enough to scare Rana to her very core. Life without her brother was unbearable even to think about but for her girlfriend this was now her reality. Kate had complained about Aidan when they were just friends and at times when they first started the affair but having a big brother herself, Rana knew how these things worked and she knew that Kate loved Aidan tremendously and now in a flash, he was gone.

She remembers the conversation she had with Kate on the day Luke died. Kate had said how she knew that when Alya had got the news that she had been sitting there imagining that she’d never get to see Luke again or hear his voice and now the fact that Kate was facing this tragedy was almost too much for Rana to bare. She was determined to be strong for her girlfriend but as she lay their lost in her thoughts, she had an overwhelming urge to speak to her brother.

Rana looked down at Kate as she slept and like many times over the past few months, she was overwhelmed by just how beautiful this woman was. She gently reached out and stroked her tear stained face and made a silent promise to herself then and there that no matter what it took, she would protect Kate with every fibre of her being for as long as she still held her heart.  She kissed her forehead before gently removing herself from the embrace. She picked up her phone and quietly exited the bedroom. The phone barely rang before Imran answered.

“Rana, hey.”

“Imran.” She cried down the phone to her brother. So relieved that she could still hear his voice.

“Sis, I’m so sorry.”

“Imran I don’t know what to do.”

“You just need to keep being there for your girl, she’s going to need you more than ever.”

“I just want to make it stop hurting and I can’t.” Imran sighed down the phone.

“Kate doesn’t need you to make it stop, she just needs you to be there. If she wants to get mad, let her get mad. If she wants to cry, you let her cry. Just love her, that’s all you need to do.” Rana took a deep breath as she listened to her brothers words.

“I love you so much Imran. I don’t say it enough but thank you so much for everything.”

“I love you too Rana, now get back to Kate. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye.” As they hung up, Rana couldn’t help the wave of guilt that washed over her at her moment of happiness speaking to Imran.

She snuck as quietly as she could back in to the bedroom and was thankful to see that her girlfriend was still asleep. She climbed back on to the bed and pulled her back in to her arms. Kate’s soft breath on her neck was comforting in a way she couldn’t describe. Rana wished that she had gotten to know Aidan better and was sad to know she would never get to do that now but she knew that he would live on through the Connor’s and she would feel his spirit through Kate.

She knew there was a rough road ahead full of heartbreak and sadness, grief was a vicious cycle that unfortunately everyone experienced and it never got any easier to take when it happened but Rana knew that she would never leave Kate’s side and just as they had promised the day that Zeedan agreed to their relationship, Rana knew that they could face anything together.

 Kate pressed herself closer to Rana and as Rana felt her own eyes grow heavy all she could do was hope that Aidan had found the peace he so clearly needed and that one day her girlfriend could do the same.

 


End file.
